“As soon as my eyes flew open this morning I was on the hunt for the time…I needed to get up, get on with it and get going on my list of to-dos.”
By Brie Gowen
As soon as my eyes flew open this morning I was on the hunt for the time. Removed from the wall was my trusty clock, and I searched blindly for my cell phone to tell me just how late I might have slept. I had things to do, things to complete, worries to worry about and problems-a-plenty to remedy. I needed to get up, get on with it and get going on my list of to-dos.
Coffee. But first, coffee.
So as I sat sipping my steaming brew I longed for more of you. I knew. Even in the face of my anxiety trying to mount against me, I knew. You, oh God, your presence was what I needed right then and there, and the rest could just fade away as far as I was concerned.
The fact was that I was feeling overwhelmed by the pressures of this world. My December schedule was crammed full, and I seriously needed to figure out how to master my time. Responsibilities, requirements and really hard decisions were on the docket for the day. And the next day. And the next. It never stopped spinning, this crazy world in which I existed, but this month it seemed even heavier than usual.
But I didnt want to feel overwhelmed by life. I wanted to feel overwhelmed by you.
I needed to feel overwhelmed by you.
Every day I needed it.
How easy it was to forget your presence, your ever faithful hand weaving the tapestry of my day. I wanted to open my eyes to your sovereignty, fall face first in your glory and praise your Holy name. I needed to be overwhelmed by you.
I needed to take my distractions and set them to the side in favor of the one who makes my paths straight. I needed the joy of your love to be my strength, for it to make the way when I could not see. I needed to be overwhelmed by you.
I needed to find my laughter and wrap it around myself like a warm blanket, those deep bellyaching bellows that can only be found when I see my children as the gifts they are. Its the same sight that finds happiness like a needle in the haystack of the daily grind, that weird wisdom that makes standing in a long line a great way to talk to a stranger whos having a bad day. Your presence does that!
It makes the mundane magical, and it finds reason in the unreasonable circumstances. Like maybe all those red lights came like divine slow-me-downs before I made a mistake in this fast-paced life I lead. Maybe accidents arent so random, and perhaps your rod and staff are always there. Thank you, God.
I need to be overwhelmed by your goodness, to see it even when life tries to turn my eye. Cause only in your truth do I see the light of goodness in this life. I need to be overcome by your mercy, swept away by your passion for me, and cradled in your perfect embrace. Youre so good to me; may I ever see, and not forget your tender mercies that are new each and every morning.
So that even when I fall, I get back up again. And even when I fail, you kiss away my tears. Your love never leaves me; it only grows stronger with every passing day.
This December I pray my schedule will not overtake me. I pray it wont separate me from the reason I run to stores purchasing packages, or rush to parties with my Saviors name in the title.
Christmas. Might I be overwhelmed by Christ. Might I be overwhelmed by the best gift of all. And might that truth make the rest settle into the periphery of my vision.